I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
