Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
