it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
