he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
