Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
