I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
