So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Oh god it's open bar.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
