I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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