just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
