I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize