Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
