We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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