belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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