I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
