I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
