Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
