I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
