The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
