I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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