Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
