I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
