Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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