That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
