after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
