its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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