I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
