I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
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