Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize