Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
