this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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