I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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