Why are handjobs necessary in class?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
