ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
