my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
