It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Randomize
