"it" just moved
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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