Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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