47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
