Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Someone signed my nipple.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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