dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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