Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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