I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Houston, we have a squirter
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
