she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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