Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
