I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
My vagina is very pro this idea
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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