alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Randomize
