He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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