Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
