her vagine was all disorganized.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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