"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
