He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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