Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Mom said you looked used
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
