i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
