I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
