it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
