You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
