HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
