Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize