I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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