I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
